top of page

Mäd Love: Balancing Heart & Mind

I hope that you enjoyed your Oscar Sunday!

Thank you for joining my ongoing conversation about FINDING THE BALANCE in our lives.

The president’s decision to rescind the rules on bathrooms for transgender students this week has inspired me to discuss the delicate balance that we have between the HEART AND MIND. What reactions do we experience based on fear? And what ones are based on compassion?

First let me make it clear that I am what you would describe as a “bleeding heart liberal”. My initial instincts have always come from the opinion of “live and let live”. I feel that who your heart loves, what clothes you choose to wear, or what you want to do with your body, is your own damn business. I have never understood the part of our society that feels they have the right to tell you if you should love someone from another race or sex. What sexual positions are allowed in your own bedroom. Whether you should or shouldn’t identify with the sex that you were born with. Or all of the other obnoxious rules and regulations that society wants to put on our lives.

I was so surprised by the fear that’s connected with the debate of transgender students and what bathrooms they are allowed to use. It seems the biggest point that people are trying to make (mostly mothers of young children) is the fear of a man dressing up as a woman in order to take advantage of females in a public bathroom. The first question I pose is in regards to a brave young gentlemen named Gavin Grimm that is soon to go before the Supreme Court. In his case, do you honestly think that a mom (who doesn’t know him or his circumstances) would feel comfortable watching him walk into a female bathroom? My answer is, of course not. The initial reaction would be “Hey, why is that boy going into the girl’s bathroom?” And unless you have x-ray vision, you wouldn’t have any idea that this high-school boy was born with female genitalia. I make a similar point with the opposing circumstance. If, what looks to be a female, walks into a boy’s bathroom, there is definitely going to be confusion. The second question is, are you assuming that predator-type behavior only happens between opposite sexes? So somehow by dis-allowing a transgender person to use the “other” bathroom cuts out the possibility of inappropriate behavior?

So really what I’ve concluded is, this is fear in the mind, of something that is different. The same way it was absurd that people feared socializing with someone from another race. Or the fear that exposure to homosexuality might corrupt "the weak". Like it’s some cold you might catch. I’m sorry but in my opinion, is just ludicrous. We need to get more in touch with the heart. Let compassion in. We need to provide a safe place for ALL of our children to use the bathroom. Including the ones that feel unsafe going into a bathroom that they don’t identify with. Fearing judgement, bullying and physical harm.

Are you able to differentiate your instincts that are based in fear from the ones based in compassion? What is at the root of the fear based ones? Is it of the unknown? Lack of exposure? Are you able to look at it from a more compassionate angle? Try putting yourself in that person’s shoes. See if you keep the same opinion. Do you feel that making all bathrooms just have stalls would solve this issue? What other ideas or concerns do you have?

Here are a few articles about Gavin that help explain the rights that he is fighting for:

I look forward to reading your compassionate thoughts…

Blog here.

XOXO - Mäds

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
bottom of page